Play like a Lobster!

This week, I’ve been engrossed in the first chapter of 12 Rules for Life, a book written by Canadian Clinical Psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson.

While some may consider his, often controversial, thinking to be brutal, it cannot be denied that he has caught the attention of millions of people, encouraging them to sit up and reflect on life in ways they may not have done so before.

The book is a lengthy read for sure, but Dr. Peterson has successfully managed to put his highly intellectual thoughts onto paper in a way that makes them accessible to us mere mortals. They are captivating, thought-provoking and in many ways relate directly to the dating world.

Essentially the book is about putting your life in order and taking responsibility for what happens.

Chapter 1 delves into hierarchies & status. He points out that even the most basic animals, like lobsters, function through status & dominance hierarchies, making it ancient biology, not cultural conditioning, that create social hierarchies.

“A lobster with high status has much higher levels of serotonin”

He goes on to talk about serotonin; a chemical we know to be found, in varying amounts, in human brains. The more serotonin we have, the happier & better we feel and the higher our perceived status by others.

The importance of maintaining high serotonin levels is such that people suffering from depression are routinely prescribed medication to increase their levels.

It’s true to say that humans with higher socio-economic status also have higher serotonin levels, just like lobsters.

Why does this matter when it comes to dating & relationships? 

Because when you’re feeling naturally happy, it will show; in your posture, your smile, and your overall energy. This in turn will increase your attraction to others; magnetising them to you.

Think about it. Whether you’re a guy or a girl if you’re in a room full of strangers, who would you want to gravitate toward? The quiet, shoulders slouched, closed-off guy on the left, or the naturally confident woman showing warmth & positive energy on your right?

Stand up straight with your shoulders back.

Dr. Peterson has found that people with low serotonin levels tend to have a low estimation of their social worth, which manifests in their body language. Their posture is slumped, their shoulders are turned inwards and their eyes are pointed down towards the floor. Not exactly the best way to show up for dates or social events.

So how can we naturally increase our levels of serotonin without resorting to medication; the side effects of which, let’s be honest, can be nasty.

Three of my favourite ways are:

  1. Eat tryptophan; it’s an amino acid that helps in your body’s production of serotonin.You’ll find it in eggs, turkey, dairy, lean meats, salmon, pineapples, tofu, nuts, and seeds. High-tryptophan foods won’t increase serotonin on their own, but if you mix them with carbs, you’re more likely to boost levels.
  2. Get yourself a massage; not only will you get an instant mood boost, but you’ll also reduce your cortisol levels.
  3. Start a meditation practice. Practiced by countless millions across the world, meditation is proven by science to raise an acid called 5-HIAA in the brain which is directly related to enhancing levels of serotonin.

I have personally found meditation to be a game-changer. If there was one place I’d start, it would be here.

Enjoy your weekend. Treat yourself to a massage this coming Valentine’s Day and let’s get the serotonin levels rising.

Here’s to standing up straight with your shoulders back.

You’ve got this my friends.

If youre keen to know more about the Dating Memberships offered by Pi Society, please go ahead and book an introductory call with me here. I’ll be happy to help.






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