We have gone through so much in the last year.
Valentine’s Day in 2021 will look different in so many ways. Whether you are single or not, I’d like to shift the focus on Valentine’s Day to a love that is available to us all at all times, regardless of what the rest of the world is up to: self-love. This is not about being selfish. It’s about loving yourself enough to take the time to care for yourself lovingly. Once we are able to learn to love ourselves we will then understand how to love others too.
Self-love and self-care are important parts of sustaining our mental health. However, a lot of people fall into the trap of being too hard on ourselves. Our inner voice may tell us we are not good enough or we didn’t do enough or maybe we’re just too overwhelmed with what is going on around us.
So, for this Valentine’s Day, be your own Valentine and take some time for self-love and care!
What is self-love?
There is a lot of talk these days about self-love. It sounds great, but what does it mean? How do we love ourselves and why does it matter?
Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.
Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but also your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So, when you conceptualise self-love, you can try to imagine what you would do for yourself, how you would talk to yourself, and how you would feel about yourself that reflects love.
When you love yourself, you have an overall positive view of yourself. This does not mean you feel positive about yourself all the time. That would be unrealistic! For example, I can temporarily feel upset, angry, or disappointed with myself and still love myself. If this is confusing, think about how this works in other relationships. I can love my son even though I sometimes feel angry or disappointed with him. Even in the midst of my anger and disappointment, my love for him informs how I relate to him. It allows me to forgive him, consider his feelings, meet his needs, and make decisions that will support his wellbeing. Self-love is very much the same. Which means, if you know how to love others, you know how to love yourself!
What does self-love look like?
- Saying positive things to yourself
- Forgiving yourself when you mess up
- Meeting your own needs
- Not letting others take advantage of you
- Prioritising your health and wellbeing
- Spending time around people who support you and build you up (and avoiding people who don’t)
- Asking for help
- Letting go of grudges or anger that holds you back
- Recognizing your strengths
- Valuing your feelings
- Living in accordance with your values
- Pursuing your interests and goals
- Challenging yourself
- Holding yourself accountable
- Accepting your imperfections
- Setting realistic expectations
- Noticing your progress and effort
On behalf of us at Pi Society, please don’t forget to Love yourself and take care of yourself.