Whether you are on-line dating or using a matchmaking company like Pi Society, first impressions are still very important. Do you judge a book by it’s cover? Or are you someone who likes to read the first couple of pages before you buy?
Either way, we instinctively search for signs of body language and facial expressions to gauge the inner state of people and more importantly whether we can trust, rely on and have a good time with them. Of course, the winning combination is all three, balanced in the right way. Having a good time with the person is fantastic and very important but it is not enough on its own. Especially long-term.
Don’t try to be anything you are not. Any potential love of your life will want you the way you are – so, no need to be Mr Someone Else. Creating a fictitious persona will simply make your position in your offline dating endeavours untenable.
It’s all about putting across your character. We have spoken to many clients both male and female and the males really don’t like women holding a glass of wine or wearing their sunglasses, they like to see their eyes. Women, however, don’t like to see men holding up a recent fish that they have caught. They like to see someone smile!
There’s nothing more important than to see someone happy and smiling! What matters is the expression. If you work with a person who knows how to make you look confident in front of the camera – so that you come across as someone who is strong, reliable, believing in your own abilities – and also approachable, warm and friendly – so that other people feel welcome to get in touch and meet, you’ll have the winning combination.
They say that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Never is this truer than on a first date.
Unfortunately this pressure to shine on our first date can end us up in a frazzled and stressed mess! Luckily there are all sorts of ways to deal with your nerves and impress your date. Here are some of the very best tips for banishing your nerves and making a great first impression…
Be on Time
First and foremost, be prepared. Arrive at your agreed destination at the right time, or just a few minutes early. Remember that your date will be just as nervous as you are and that it’s no fun sitting there alone in a bar wondering if you’ve been stood up.
Be in the Moment
Once you arrive at your date forget all about the worries of everyday life. Stop checking your phone every few minutes, and don’t go off and chat with a friend at a different table. Instead your goal should be to focus just on the date itself.
Make Eye Contact
Eye contact can have a near-magical effect on people. Just consider how you feel when you catch someone staring at you from a distance. More than likely they’ll come across as creepy or nosey.
At the other end of the spectrum people who never catch your eye appear overly shy, untrustworthy or even shifty. Try hard to regularly make that connection with your eyes, which naturally demonstrates that you’re listening and fosters subconscious intimacy. That said, don’t be afraid to glance away from time-to-time, and don’t forget to blink to avoid looking like you’re on medication!
Smile (and be Fun)
Most of us are naturally attracted to positive people, who feel good about themselves, and make us feel good too. A great sense of humour tends to rank highly in the traits that we all find attractive, but jokes only tend to work well when they’re done naturally (not rehearsed lines).
Also, don’t be afraid to be playful on your date, telling your best anecdotes and generally encouraging laughter throughout.
An honest compliment can go a very long way for breaking the ice. Seeing as you’ve both probably spent an unnaturally long period of time choosing your outfit, getting ready and deciding on what to say, a little positive encouragement can go a long way.
For the gentlemen among you, be sure you’re not being creepy. Try not to focus too much on your dates’ physical accomplishments besides a flattering “you look nice”. Telling your date that she has the best eyes you’ve ever seen (or worse!) is only likely to make them feel uncomfortable. Instead, try focusing your compliments on the stories they tell, the things they’ve done and so on.
The number one lesson to take away is that you need to be yourself. Don’t make claims that aren’t true, don’t tell stories that are fake. Be true to yourself.
The reason is simple; even if the date doesn’t go well at least you’ll know honestly what they thought of you as a person.
The most heart-breaking thing can be landing a fantastic first date but basing it on a lie. You don’t want to start a potential future relationship on someone you’re not. It’ll only make for a very uncomfortable and disappointing conversation some months down the road.
We have worked together with a number of photographers in the area and have come up with a select few that we trust. Please do check out our wonderful choice of photographers that you can choose from by visiting our Creating the First Impressions Page.