We have gone through so much in the last year.
Valentine’s Day in 2021 will look different in so many ways. Whether you are single or not, I’d like to shift the focus on Valentine’s Day to a love that is available to us all at all times, regardless of what the rest of the world is up to: self-love. This is not about being selfish. It’s about loving yourself enough to take the time to care for yourself lovingly. Once we are able to learn to love ourselves we will then understand how to love others too.
Self-love and self-care are important parts of sustaining our mental health. However, a lot of people fall into the trap of being too hard on ourselves. Our inner voice may tell us we are not good enough or we didn’t do enough or maybe we’re just too overwhelmed with what is going on around us.
So, for this Valentine’s Day, be your own Valentine and take some time for self-love and care!
What is self-love?
There is a lot of talk these days about self-love. It sounds great, but what does it mean? How do we love ourselves and why does it matter?
Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.
Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but also your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So, when you conceptualise self-love, you can try to imagine what you would do for yourself, how you would talk to yourself, and how you would feel about yourself that reflects love.
When you love yourself, you have an overall positive view of yourself. This does not mean you feel positive about yourself all the time. That would be unrealistic! For example, I can temporarily feel upset, angry, or disappointed with myself and still love myself. If this is confusing, think about how this works in other relationships. I can love my son even though I sometimes feel angry or disappointed with him. Even in the midst of my anger and disappointment, my love for him informs how I relate to him. It allows me to forgive him, consider his feelings, meet his needs, and make decisions that will support his wellbeing. Self-love is very much the same. Which means, if you know how to love others, you know how to love yourself!
What does self-love look like?
- Saying positive things to yourself
- Forgiving yourself when you mess up
- Meeting your own needs
- Not letting others take advantage of you
- Prioritising your health and wellbeing
- Spending time around people who support you and build you up (and avoiding people who don’t)
- Asking for help
- Letting go of grudges or anger that holds you back
- Recognizing your strengths
- Valuing your feelings
- Living in accordance with your values
- Pursuing your interests and goals
- Challenging yourself
- Holding yourself accountable
- Accepting your imperfections
- Setting realistic expectations
- Noticing your progress and effort
On behalf of us at Pi Society, please don’t forget to Love yourself and take care of yourself.
Nicky Dunn spoke to James Preece this week to talk about loneliness and learning how to deal with loneliness and start meeting more people?
According to a January 2020 survey of 10,000 Americans ages 18 and over conducted by Cigna, 61 percent of adults three in five reported they are lonely. That number has only grown larger since the pandemic.
In this episode, James is joined by Nicky Dunn. Nicky is the founder of Pi Society – a professional Matchmaking Agency in Devon
Together, they discuss topics such as:
- Why are we so lonely?
- Does online dating make things worse?
- Where can you start meeting new people?
- Can singles events really work?
- What steps can you take to stop being lonely today ?
Nicky’s top tips for Loneliness:
- Allow yourself to be lonely
Do things that you enjoy, by yourself. Often, the act of being kind to yourself and loving yourself helps ease loneliness.
- Remember you’re not alone in your loneliness
Other people are probably feeling lonely too. Reach out – text a friend, ask them how they are, ask if they’re struggling. You can admit that you’re struggling, or that you’re lonely, and you’d love a chat.
- Know that loneliness isn’t something to feel ashamed of
All over the world people are struggling at the moment. This is a great chance to be open and allow ourselves to express some of our vulnerabilities, because so many others are dealing with the same problems.
- Find what works for you
- There are small, practical things I’ve found really help me when I’m struggling with loneliness:
- Turning on a radio first thing when I wake up so I hear voices and I feel connected to the world
- I always have a book on the go, so there’s a world I can retreat to with people in it
- I watch old TV shows – ones I used to enjoy, or know really well. It brings me comfort, being surrounded by familiar characters and plot-lines
- Going outside, walking or running, playing with animals (stroke a cat! Pet a dog!).
James also gives his top dating expert tips on how to truly overcome loneliness and start living your life.
Once you’ve listened, don’t forget to download his latest book for FREE from James’ dating coaching website.
Find the Man you need using Science – for Women over 50
Hi, my name’s Mairi Macleod and I’m an evolutionary biologist specialising in helping women achieve their goals using an approach based on taking account of our evolved motivations and behaviours. I’ve spent many years as a behaviour researcher and science writer (you’ll find me in New Scientist magazine and several newspapers) and recently I decided to put my scientific knowledge to good use – to help me find a good man!
I’d spent many years on my own as a single mum, or in relationships that weren’t working and realised that I was looking for a guy in the totally wrong way – and so I changed that based on my knowledge of the biology of attraction and relationships. The science worked and now I’m married to a wonderful guy – someone I’d never have even considered when following my old ways of looking for a partner!
Now I really want to help other older women like myself to stop wasting time on the wrong men and find the partner they need! I’m developing an online course on this:
Dating Evolved – for Women Over 50
The Science of Finding the Man You Need
I’ll be running a pilot for this course (study in your own time plus optional group calls) beginning in October 2020 for a select few women who I’d love to get feedback from. I’m going to run a free webinar on Saturday 19th September, entitled “The Science of Finding the Man You Need” and if this sounds like something that could help you, please email me at email@example.com and:
If you would like to attend the webinar, Please click here.
I’ll send you a recording afterwards so don’t worry if you can’t make the date and time, but it’ll be better if you can be there so you can ask questions. During the webinar I’ll give you some great science-based dating advice – things that have really helped me and others find a great partner – and I’ll also briefly tell you about the pilot course in case you’d like to apply to sign up, but there’s absolutely no obligation. I’m only interested in signing up women who would really like to make this work for them.
For more info about my work, do visit https://mairimacleod.com/love-especially-for-women-over-45/ and download my free ebook “5 Science Based Ways to Find the Man You Need”!
And finally, let me know if you’d like to have a quick chat with me (either zoom or phone) and I’d love to answer any dating questions you might have or give you more details about how I can help.
I’m looking forward to hearing from/meeting you!